First post on this blog and there's so much to unpack. Unlike most who have been stuck at home during this pandemic, I have flourished. I finally call a hospital in Midwest my home away from home and am overjoyed to be spending my waking hours there. As a South Asian immigrant, it took me a while to land this residency and I am making the most of every second. Most days I spend trying to believe that this is my new reality.. scared its going to be taken back from me.
That doesn't mean that COVID - 19 hasn't cast its pall on me. I am away from my techie husband who is employed on the West coast and my parents who are back home. Trips to see my husband are far and few in between. We knew from the get-go that we would have to spend quite some time apart but didn't take quite into consideration, the dread that comes with getting into a flight packed like sardines with a stranger who might just be the beginning of the end for us. So far, I am glad that Delta continues to limit the seating capacity and I silently thank the CEO of Delta every single day for that.
With my parents, it is a whole another story. I have no idea when I will see them again. They are solidly in the baby boomer generation and I would never risk having them travel here for a long, long time. So, I stride into the hospital every day and squeeze my 60-something patient's hand a little tighter when she tells me that her kids are not living nearby. And before you ask, yes, I sanitized my hand before going in to the patient's room.
Heard that my mom's favorite singer is in the hospital because of this awful disease. I cry softly and pray that he pulls through so my mom feels a little less sad. When I call her I tell the silly jokes I heard at the hospital and never tell her how much I want to see her. I keep an ear out for any coughs or any change in their voices.
The world is hurting so much and it is going to be a while before things get back to normal again. Until then, be extra kind even if your day is extra crappy. Let's be real.. your good gesture is probably never going to come back manifold, but it just might make you feel a little lighter.
